Attachment

I have lately been thinking about the way attachment to ideas and behavior influences the way we experience life. The image of a kite with a long tail has come to me in dreams. The tail has become ensnared in thorny brambles and tugs endlessly in the breeze, never getting enough lift to soar freely into the expansive sky. Of course the tail is ensnared by various attachments, literally and figuratively.

Or sometimes I have the image of walking gingerly atop a narrow fence, balancing myself against a multitude of chains attached to my legs by old fashioned locks and pulling me to one side. I have to lean far over into the opposite direction to keep from being pulled irretrievably into the side from which originate the chains. Some of the chains are thick and some are golden, and they are all firmly attached to my legs. They sometimes feel like an extension to my legs. I hold a key in my hands.

Sometimes the Buddhist story of the man holding  for dear life on to the tail of a racing horse comes to mind. As the horse gallops through the mud, the man is splashed continually, becoming covered. As the horse races forward, the hooves kick and batter the desperate man, barely able to hold on to the tail, afraid to let go in spite of the punishing result of maintaining his grip. A voice whispers, "Just let go!" but the man does not hear it apparently.

It would not be a stretch for me to name these various chains that pull me to one side or to see the nature of the brambles holding the kite back, or of the horse racing headlong. Some of these chains would have me believe that I am not worthy of being happy. Some of the brambles would have me believe that I deserve to suffer or that I do not deserve love. Some of these snares keep my locked away in my own prejudices and reinforce my separateness from those around me. The horse would have me believe that I can fill the yearning for happiness by spending money.

In Buddhist thought, attachment is the root of suffering. Attachment keeps us imprisoned in a rigid place of thought and action and prevents us from seeing the fundamental unity of all phenomenon, the dependant arising of everything. We generally don't like the idea on non-attachment because it seems to imply some sort of lack of enthusiasm or commitment. It seems rather bland in the context of our highly charged society in which everything is imbued with subliminal (and often overt) qualities imparted by the media. We become attached to looking a certain way or having a certain life-style almost without knowing what the driver is behind these ideas. We make decisions based on what others have told us will bring us the happiness we seek. And in this society, what will bring us satisfaction they maintain, is consumption, endless buying.

I think one way to weaken these attachments is to practice "smiling" through the eyes, especially when you want to judge. I have noticed how smiling through the eyes seems to make things more fluid, less dramatic and charged. It is like an invitation to breathe, to observe rather than react to events. To take time to look beyond the surface, and to be informed by the deeper connections.

Smiling through the eyes involves making a gentle, real connection with the person or thing observed. The eyes become somewhat wider and fill with some sort of light; the gentle intentionality of wanting to see beyond the surface, of wanting to establish a connection based on equality. It is a subtle action, one that may not be readily observable. It is more about shifing the energy that flows from the heart through the eyes, which are considered by some to be the window to the soul.

I have noticed how the quality of the interactions I have changes, becoming easier and more positive. There is a great satisfaction that comes from relating with others from this space of equality, of recognizing the ways we are connected.