Bee Dharma

Today I experienced one of those little dharma lessons which managed to take root and come to florition in my consciousness (register as a teaching). 

 I noticed a bee climbing the screen in full sunlight, unable to reach the outside, where shelter and food awaited. The natural and first inclination I had was to capture the bee, somehow, and release it to the outside. It was not even a thought. It felt deeper than thought; something part of the natural order. The obvious course of action. 

 But then my mind jumped into the process with its judgement that the bee was probably a carpenter bee. Suddenly there was this negative reaction to the presence of the bee, and the past and potential destruction such bees are capable of doing to the siding of the house. This judgement caused me to falter in my desire to rescue the creature.

 The mind can be a good servant but a terrible master.It takes practice to respond from the deeper, truer place of compassion for all beings without judgement. The mind is hardwired to make judgements in the interest of self preservation. But one must ask what self are we preserving? 

The illusion of a separate self makes one prone to defensive reactions. The reality is that on some deep level the bee and I somehow "inter-are" as Thich Nhat Hanh would say. Nothing is independent in its existence. All is connected and it is from this deep truth that my initial inclination to rescue the bee came.

The Edgy Dharma : The Hardest Work In The World

The Edgy Dharma : The Hardest Work In The World: This spontaneous prayer jumped into my head this morning while walking: Lord, let all that I do, and say, and thi...

The Power of Authenticity

I have been discovering lately the freedom that comes with radical acceptance. As I grow older (now 70!) I realize more and more that it is not healthy to ignore or sidestep authenticity in favor of taking care of the other persons prercieved feelings, ideas, or individual perspective on any given topic. This does not mean running roughshod over another persons individual take on the world such as challenging it or judging it. It simply means looking deeply into my own truth and responding (possibly) rather than reacting. Often the response is increasingly the position of not responding. Just listening and reflecting privately can lead to a more fruitful and positive interchange and mutual understanding. A simple response such as "That's interesting!" rather than launching into my own take on an issue or position can diffuse the confrontational nature of reacting where each party tends to shift into defensive postures. Is it authentic to not react? In today's hyper divisive world reacting seems to be the go to response, the quicker the better! But these quick reactions often seem to lead to unsatisfying, if not catastrophic, results. There can be a quieter contemplative authenticity that is very powerful that can shift the energy towards a more positive place. For me at least, the failure to respond authentically has sometimes been linked to fear of exposing my truth; my authentic self. Contrary to what is seen culturally as being powerful, especially for a man, namely a sort of hardened emotional aloofness, authenticity involves revealing vulnerabilities, typically seen as weak for men. I have been extremely lucky to be a part of a long standing group of men dedicated to opening up pathways toward being more authentic, and this has certainly helped me to grow emotionally. I can say without a doubt that these men have helped me claim my authentic self without fear. And every time I respond from that place of authenticity, it feels powerful and liberating!

Cognitive Dissonance (Wiliiam Stanhope)

It amazes me sometimes how people can seemingly reject facts,  ideas and practices (personal and political) that are clearly good for them in favor of emotional biases that are purely personal and have no overall positive effect on society. This is explained by cognitive dissonance or the inability for most people to make a clear and rational decision because of the emotional pain associated with a strongly held belief system. .

Politicians, as well as others in positions of power,  know how to exploit this human weakness; they know how to package ideas to maximize the emotional content and to minimize the factual content. They know that certain hot button issues and highly charged words will illicit a very painful reaction in people and those people will reject the facts.in favor of a course of action that reduces their emotional discomfort.

Here in North Carolina we just passed an amendment that will do great harm to a large number of people because it will only legally sanction marriage between a man and a woman. Every other relationship, including any form of civil union or domestic partnership, will have no legal standing. The facts are that certain people will be adversely affected. Children will likely be affected because any benefits their parents enjoy will possibly be removed placing them in a less stable position. End of life decisions and medical decisions will become more delicate, possibly impossible, for partners that have no legal standing. Estate planning and wealth management will become more complicated, leaving partners (straight or otherwise) in a precarious position without legal protections, especially if contested by blood relatives.

This amendment was passed because the power brokers used the 2 "G" words; God and Gay, even though same sex marriage is already illegal in NC. They connected those two points of reference, ignoring the facts and rarely if ever mentioning the negative effects passage of the amendment would have for a very broad range of the population. Many people acted against the better interests of the group as a whole in favor of a more palatable emotional decision, one less emotionally painful but logically not the correct decision in terms of overall benefit to the collective society. How so?

Stable relationships benefit society as a whole on all levels. Children are less vulnerable. Families are less financially challenged. People are happier. There is less discrimination when people are allowed to participate in society as fully recognized and legally protected members. Equality, meaning equal protection for all, is served and this supports the constitution of the US. (We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness)


I am saddened that once again cognitive dissonance has prevented the majority of people in NC to make the right decision. I am disappointed that powerful people have chosen to undermine collective well-being through appeals to emotionally painful issues and personal preference, especially religious beliefs often used to divide rather than unite groups of people. Billy Graham, who is now 93 years old, took out full page ads in 11 newspapers the weekend before the vote, which appealed to the emotional discomfort of people by invoking the 2 "G" words, thus making it impossible for them to make a rational decision.  How sad that his parting shot in this world (at 93 there can't be much time left) would cause so much pain and harm to so many people in NC.

Good Dog Bad Dog

Walking the dogs

The sun is shining

and it is so nice

I decide to go sit on a dock

on the Kenilworth lake

behind that house on the corner for sale

The best dock on the lake

So there I am

just grooving on everything

and stuff...

Lucy comes up

and takes a look at the water in the lake...

I am thinking..

oh

she doesn't know what that is

She will just...

look...

no....

she backs up

takes a

flying leap

into the water

5 feet out

from dock

so...

well ...

she can't swim that good

you know

I jump in fully clothed

phone in pocket

(now toast)

swim out to

dog (BAD DOG)

grab her

and

throw her onto dock

clamber out myself

DRENCHED

and walk home

freezing

with one wet dog (BAD DOG)

one dry dog (GOOD DOG)

everyone stares

what happened?

they ask

Don't ask

I say

Morning meditation

Changing Habits

Like a turtle we carry this shell around which announces our arrival. The shell is made up of habitual behaviors. We are hardly aware of it because it has become associated with who we think we are. It has become fused to our identity.

Like a force field, it affects the immediate surroundings and to a certain extent determines the quality of our experience in those surroundings. I know this to be true because I have experienced how something as simple as smiling can dramatically affect my interactions and general experience of life. Things just seem to go smoother and often it feels as though the universe is arranging itself around a positive axis for me.

Once I experimented with this in the Atlanta Airport, a very busy place. While listening to the 7 universal tones on headphones I just sort of wandered around aimlessly. It seemed as though people could almost feel the positive vibration through me, and they were quite friendly and accommodating in response to this energy I was putting out.

If we want a new shell, one that will allow the universe to arrange itself in positive ways for us, then we need to change some of those negative habits; replace them with positive habits.

Here are a few habits worth changing:
1. Always having the last word
2. The need to be right
3. Reluctance to show joy or smile
4. Seeing seriousness as more worthy than playfulness
5. Reluctance to be silly and playful
6. Paying too much attention to the outcome and not the process or intention
7. Being bi polar instead of omni polar (seeing the points in-between)
8. Judging
9. Being critical instead of inquisitive
10. Expecting people to understand you

Morning Meditation

Many of my friends are turning 60! In fact we just celebrated Jane's 60th and I will turn 60 in a few months as well. Visiting family have already passed that milestone. We are all getting older. Often in my men's group (where everyone except me is 60+) our discussions turn around the fact that life as we know it is speeding up toward the end of the road.

So that tends to focus the mind on the question "How do I want to spend my remaining moments? What is important now?"

It seems to me that I have spent my life polishing the mirror of ego, making it conform to some idea of what is admirable from an external perspective. And from an internal perspective, much of what is deemed admirable has been shaped by society. For example, much effort and thought have gone into comparing myself to the physical ideal put forth by the culture, which is a struggle since rising to the level put forth by the culture is not achievable by most. I am often left feeling inadequate or defective somehow. One never gets to arrive at that destination! That target is always moving and never quite achievable.

So now I am surrounded by this somewhat crumbling matrix of scaffold holding up the ego. And it seems to me an increasing folly to think in terms of keeping up the effort of maintaining this scaffold. The more sensible approach is to begin dismantling it bit by bit until it no longer exists; until the true immutable nature of pure mind, pure soul is revealed.

I vow to look carefully at how ego obscures the true nature of pure mind and prevents me from living in the moment, which diminishes true happiness by externalizing the idea of perfection.

Like Poetry In Sand

My mind has a habit of attaching various conditions to happiness. It is good to sit and observe this tendancy to allow these fleeting inconstant conditions to direct the show and throw me off the quiet path leading to greater peace and freedom. I can't pretend to understand the deep connection between the heart and the mind but I know there is no inner peace without some sort of reconciliation between the two and this place must be a knife edge. Falling to either side brings about a sense of disequlibrium, a place that keeps my rooted in the past or the future, thus spoiling the potential flowering of the present moment. Staying on the edge must be the goal of meditation practice, but I must admit to an almost fatal attraction to avoiding the only place real happiness is possible.

These conditions are the drama of life; the sine qua non of the ego which is not that interested in happiness and more involved with survival and self justification. Sometimes domination. The ego has a hard time seeing things as they are and prefers to see things as it wants them to be. And it is the wanting that leads to conditions and unhappiness.

So...how to stay on the knife edge? How to dwell longer in the unconditional world where the mind and heart have joined together in a clear-eyed compassionate embrace? How to throw my arms around the present moment and drain the bitter and sweet cup it offers.

At least part of the answer to these questions lies in becoming comfortable with letting go of judgement or a need to put things into neat little boxes. This is especially true of feelings which come in a variety of flavors. Learning to observe feelings without judging them or acting impulsivly on them is of great benefit. Allowing them to arise, greeting them with patience, non judgement, and compassion, then allowing them to pass on is the way to reduce their power to take control of your life.

In my life I get ample opportunity to practice this! I would say a word that describes a great deal of my experience is disappointment. I would like to say Happiness but the reality is that things rarely turn out the way I want them to and I judge this as somehow bad and thus disappointing. Thich Nhat Hahn would say that these "things", countless in number and ever changing, can become little reminders to return to the breath and letting go. He calls them mindfullness bells. Like in the zendo when bells are rung to announce change or to return the practioner to a more calm way of being in the present (taming the habituallyover-active mind). In this way the whole world becomes your meditation hall.

A few months ago I was paging through old journals and came across a number of poems written when I was much younger. I know at the time they must have reflected some very important feelings, but I can barely relate to them now. In fact they seem almost ridiculous, though I think a better way to see them is like little reminders that all things change, nothing is constant, and attaching great importance to these changing things leads to suffering. The poetry reflects "real" feelings, but it is written on sand, a beautiful image described by Danny Ellis in his song Poetry in Sand.

If I could remember this from moment to moment rather than waiting long years for this wisdom to settle in, I would find that knife edge of happiness easier to balance on.

Abiding in the bodhi heart

The images of sufferig coming from Japan cause a mixture of feelings to arise; fear, compassion, helplessness, and anger being formost in my own experience. Often I feel myself drifting into a state of paralysis regarding the really apocalyptic events that seem to come with increasing regularity. It is tempting to see myself as being powerless to do anything.

It is helpful to remember that though I am unable to bend the laws of physics which implacably govern  the nature of physical reality, I do have the potentially limitless power to govern how I respond to the events that overtake me. 

For me this means using these events to remind me of how I am connected to the images that I see, and how one person's suffering on the other side of the ocean is really my own suffering. This helps me to become more compassionate, and this affects my behavior. 

The bodhi heart, or heart of compassion dwells in every human, but it is not always awake. However, when we nourish this aspect of our nature, through practicing openness to the real connections that link all reality, and especially to all sentient beings, we touch a sort of super being within ourselves, and this is the energy that has the power to change us in a very positive way, as well as to potentially change the world. 

I am reminded of the importance of seeing the world in the context of inter-being; seeing the interconnections and the inter-dependance of all life.  It is not possible to hide out on the web of life forever. Eventually, every little ripple will make it's way to our safe cave and in some way rock our boat.

Rather than prepare for this absolute eventuality with a defensive, protective posture, I feel that nourishing the bodhi heart with the water of suffering can give us the strength to remain open and hopeful.

We will all deal with these events in a myriad of ways. It is not important to calculate the degree to which varying responses will be of benefit. What is important is to respond in a way that connects you to the people who suffer around you; to actively allow your heart to be touched, however unpleasant that might become.

We are all in the same boat, and these events can help us to see that reality more clearly and guide us in how we embrace the future. We can become more loving to those around us. We can become more active in choosing courses that reduce overall suffering. As Yoko Ono said recently, we can reach down into ourselves and find that super power that will allow us to perform miracles of love.

Attachment

I have lately been thinking about the way attachment to ideas and behavior influences the way we experience life. The image of a kite with a long tail has come to me in dreams. The tail has become ensnared in thorny brambles and tugs endlessly in the breeze, never getting enough lift to soar freely into the expansive sky. Of course the tail is ensnared by various attachments, literally and figuratively.

Or sometimes I have the image of walking gingerly atop a narrow fence, balancing myself against a multitude of chains attached to my legs by old fashioned locks and pulling me to one side. I have to lean far over into the opposite direction to keep from being pulled irretrievably into the side from which originate the chains. Some of the chains are thick and some are golden, and they are all firmly attached to my legs. They sometimes feel like an extension to my legs. I hold a key in my hands.

Sometimes the Buddhist story of the man holding  for dear life on to the tail of a racing horse comes to mind. As the horse gallops through the mud, the man is splashed continually, becoming covered. As the horse races forward, the hooves kick and batter the desperate man, barely able to hold on to the tail, afraid to let go in spite of the punishing result of maintaining his grip. A voice whispers, "Just let go!" but the man does not hear it apparently.

It would not be a stretch for me to name these various chains that pull me to one side or to see the nature of the brambles holding the kite back, or of the horse racing headlong. Some of these chains would have me believe that I am not worthy of being happy. Some of the brambles would have me believe that I deserve to suffer or that I do not deserve love. Some of these snares keep my locked away in my own prejudices and reinforce my separateness from those around me. The horse would have me believe that I can fill the yearning for happiness by spending money.

In Buddhist thought, attachment is the root of suffering. Attachment keeps us imprisoned in a rigid place of thought and action and prevents us from seeing the fundamental unity of all phenomenon, the dependant arising of everything. We generally don't like the idea on non-attachment because it seems to imply some sort of lack of enthusiasm or commitment. It seems rather bland in the context of our highly charged society in which everything is imbued with subliminal (and often overt) qualities imparted by the media. We become attached to looking a certain way or having a certain life-style almost without knowing what the driver is behind these ideas. We make decisions based on what others have told us will bring us the happiness we seek. And in this society, what will bring us satisfaction they maintain, is consumption, endless buying.

I think one way to weaken these attachments is to practice "smiling" through the eyes, especially when you want to judge. I have noticed how smiling through the eyes seems to make things more fluid, less dramatic and charged. It is like an invitation to breathe, to observe rather than react to events. To take time to look beyond the surface, and to be informed by the deeper connections.

Smiling through the eyes involves making a gentle, real connection with the person or thing observed. The eyes become somewhat wider and fill with some sort of light; the gentle intentionality of wanting to see beyond the surface, of wanting to establish a connection based on equality. It is a subtle action, one that may not be readily observable. It is more about shifing the energy that flows from the heart through the eyes, which are considered by some to be the window to the soul.

I have noticed how the quality of the interactions I have changes, becoming easier and more positive. There is a great satisfaction that comes from relating with others from this space of equality, of recognizing the ways we are connected.

Bridges

The flow of one year into the next somehow feels more momentous than the simple passage of one moment to another. We stand at the foot of a bridge anchored in the ruins of the past and taking our leave of what was once and is no more, stumble into the soft unformed future, burdened needlessly with resolutions that fill a persistent suspicion of brokenness, as if we could use this mud to fill the cracks through which only light flows.  As if we were not loved in our various states of abandon! For this is an enigmatic journey, this moment to moment passage, in which we must shed the illusion of foreign destinations in order to inhabit the illumined Now, eternal in its fluid nature. A journey whose sole purpose would have us understand that we never left.

Thoreau in his essay "Where I lived, and What I Lived For," describes this moment:

Time is but the stream I go fishing in. I drink at it; but while I drink I see the sandy bottom and detect how shallow it is. It's thin current slides away, but eternity remains. I would drink deeper; fish in the sky whose bottom is pebbly with stars. I cannot count one. I know not the first letter of the alphabet. I have always been regretting that I was not as wise as the day I was born.

In truth there is only one bridge to cross and that is the one that leads from ignorance to the joyous recognition of our own devine nature. The miraculous happens and we find ourselves standing refreshed on the sandy bottom of eternity, full of childlike wisdom and content to rest in the slipstream of time.

Bedroom floor at Hawkscry

The new pine floor is now installed in the bedroom. The entire room feels very peaceful and I can't wait until the bed and furniture are installed and the room can be used for sleeping. Last week we bought a new bed at Sears, but it will not be delivered until the 6th of June. It has taken a long time to complete this project, but I learned many things along the way and now I can enjoy the fruits of my labor!

Springtime 2010 at Hawkscry

The last few weeks have been glorious; plenty of rain and mild temperatures have made working on the cabin and in the garden a pure delight. I have brought the cabin project very close to completion. The bathroom needs tile, then try to figure out the on demand hot water system. I will need to tweek it a bit to get the required head of pressure to trip the electronic switch and I do hope I can get 30 pounds pressure at the head. We will see. I should bring my pressure guage out and see what there is for pressure under various conditions (direct take-off from the upper reservoir (1000 feet away up the draw with probably 30 feet of fall) will be the most pressure, but that reservoir is un-relaiable. Pressure from the lower 1500 gallon tank is probably not sufficient; not enough drop. I try various ways to increase pressure, but I hope I do not have to lay new and bigger diameter pipe.

Be like a Tree

The power to bring happiness to others comes from the grace that fills your own being when you are more fully awake to your own essential goodness, one might even say divinity. This comes from "being" totally free of wanting to do anything since the wanting can lead us down a path of attachment. Of course in some way we must have the intention to uncover our own goodness and this is an active process but the intention is more open and spacious and not so dependant on rigid outcomes. With time the messages we received that convinced us that we were in some way not good enough (illusion) will fall away and reveal our true nature. And this will be enough to bring happiness, light, and refuge to all that comes into contact. This grace can be felt when in the presence of beauty in all its forms. Having the intention to discover or uncover that which is true within you (beauty) will bear fruit and radiate outwards into the world. A tree does not work for our approbation. It's very presence is enough to provide support for an abundance of life as well as nourishment for the soul. Standing in it's shade or climbing its limbs we are in touch with peace and happiness and in some way share in a rootedness with the earth that is both sustaining to us spiritually and also something which we deeply recognize in our own genetics. A tree is fully in its truth or essence and this touches us. In the same way, a person fully in their essence and living in their truth has uncovered the well-spring of happiness and can not help but share this with those who come into their cool shade. When we open to our essential goodness we are like a tree spreading shade and calm in all directions, deeply connected with our source. Nothing is more beautiful.

Follow the link to find out how you can help plant a forest:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qdoe_gI_fSs

Or go to http://www.plant-trees.org/ to find out more

Aiming Downward (How to be an Underachiever)

In our society we are taught to be the best we can be, to constantly strive to be better and to live up to our potential. Pretty daunting and not a little oppressive given that apparently everyone around us is busy doing just that, and quite a few of them seem to be functioning at a pretty high level if we are to believe what we see in the media. In the book The Underachiever's Manifesto; A guide to Accomplishing Little and Feeling Great by Ray Bennet M.D. he says:

The pleasures of underachievement are many, but they are all too often lost in the pressure for success…. The achievement lobby is powerful, and underachievement is, surprisingly, not as easy as it should be. Our world is so full of unrelenting messages about being the best you can be that it may not have even occurred to you to try anything less. We’ve been brainwashed over many years to believe that striving for success is essential to our well being…. It’s an endless exhausting litany, thanks to advertising stars and corporate executives busy cashing in our inadequacies for their overpriced sneakers and shiny BMWs.

How many of us have stopped in the middle of our constant push to achieve more and better and wondered where the passion went? Is it possible that happiness might be found in abandoning the relenless pursuit of success?

One of my favorite places in France is La Maison Picassiette. This little house was recently classed as a Heritage Site and is considered as representative of the cultural vibrancy and creativity of France. Here is the little brick house of a street sweeper Raymonde Isidore who patiently turned every broken pottery shard found discarded on his rounds between 1938 and 1964 into exquisite mosaic. Every square inch of space on every flat surface has been transformed into colorful representations of all the important religious sites in France. He was a man of great religious conviction yet one who in some ways set his sights pretty low considering his occupation.

How fortunate for the world he did not give in to the temptation to make something better of himself, to become more than a simple street sweeper. One can only imagine how often he was encouraged to aim higher in life. Yet, he followed his heart in some way, taking on a job that did not define him but rather allowed him the space to define himself on his own terms.

If we need more convincing here are some thoughts on the subject written by the man himself, Pablo Picasso:

You must always work not just within, but below your means. If you can handle three elements, handle only two. If you can handle ten, then handle only five. In that way, the ones you do handle, you handle with more ease, more mastery, and you create a feeling of strength in reserve.

For a look at La Maison Picassiette follow the link

http://www.thejoyofshards.co.uk/picassiette/index.shtml

Avatar and the Power of Corporations

The subtitle of this blog contains a quote from Thomas Berry: The universe is a communion and a community. We ourselves are that communion become conscious of itself. The movie Avatar very powerfully shows what can happen if we lose sight of this truth. We must begin to rediscover our true place in the web of creation and abandon our arrogant claim to superiority and dominion of the natural world. We must begin to see that we are a part of a complex and interdependent system and that damage to one part has consequences that reverberate throughout the entire system. Thich Nhat Hahn's idea of interbeing very nicely encapsulates this essential truth.

The idea of interbeing is based on the 14 principles of mindfullness as expressed by the Order of Interbeing. Follow the link for an explanation of these principles.

http://www.orderofinterbeing.org/wiki/index.php?title=Fourteen_Mindfulness_Trainings

For a video clip of Thich Nhat Hahn speaking about Interbeing, follow the link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azOZ8d0UvVs

I was struck with the timing of this movie to the recent Supreme Court Ruling giving corporations the same rights as individuals and allowing them to fund political candidates with the full measure of their financial clout. We would do well to heed the message here; corporations are beholden to themselves, their shareholders, and their profitability. They are by nature short sighted and unlikely to see the broader implications of their actions as a projection over time. Their boards are under constant pressure from share holders to increase profitability thus justifying just about any action that does that. It is Orwells 1984 revisited if we go down that path, and indeed it seems that we have started to do just that.

Many very intelligent and informed journalists and commentators are calling for a robust response to this recent development. And the window of opportunity is not large since with time, politicians will all be beholden to their corporate sponsors and not to their constituencies who will have the facts so spinned to them they will be unable to tell the difference between fact and untruth. We will be like lambs to the slaughter over time. Many are indeed calling for large scale demonstrations, even revolution in some cases. For Keith Olbermann's view from msnbc, follow the link

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34981476/ns/msnbc_tv-countdown_with_keith_olbermann

We must all take it upon ourselves to resist the temptation to give up in the face of this

egregious attack on the democratic process by redoubling our efforts to remain actively engaged in the process. If politicians receive just 30 calls on a particular issue they take notice.

My wish is that this film acts as a consciousness raiser for the people who see it and that somehow the message comes through.

Hawkscry hot water system

Today I had nothing much to do since it was raining cats and dogs and I am recuperating from a back injury. I was surfing the web for design ideas and came across a good bargin for an on- demand water heater which should work really well for the cabin. It is made by ecco (the L10 delux model that was listed for 700.00 but selling for 239.00 (plus I got a 30.00 credit for making the purchace with a new visa card!) I am excited to see how it will work. I have been thinking about the various ways to insure hot water for showers, and this will do the job hopefully.

Yesterday I went out to do a final mowing of the field (using the riding mower that I just finished paying off!) and I really bent the blade on a tree root as well as other vivible damage under the deck and on the pulley system as well. I was not too happy. I had to really work to get the mower free from the root which was hard because of my back pain still present. This means the hassel of getting the mower into town as well as the price of repair.

The weather has certainly changed around from yesterday, when it was sunny and in the 50's. Today nothing but rain and wind and quite chilly. Tomorrow it will clear up a bit and presently the sky is clearing and there is some color in the sky.